Ghetto Touring: The Tourers



About SisterCousin:

I didn’t meet mah Momma until I dun turned 24 years old, the first thing she said when she saw me from across the yard from the trailer was “SisterCousin! I’m so glad yur here!” Thus SisterCousin hath been born on that day, I am a new man.

More About SisterCousin:
I like long motorcycle rides, talking about motorcycles, working on motorcycles, smelling motorcycles, beer, bourbon, titties, sleeping in the dirt and getting bitten on the ankle by ants. Whore baths are my ideal cleansing method, and the day wouldn’t be complete without a good toof brush’n, cause ain’t no one gonna wanna grope their toothless cousin, not even in the dark.

About SisterCousins Ryde:

I only ride the best bike ever created. Suzuki one day came up with an idear to make the bestest bike. It has a vtwin like a Hardly, but runs like the rest of them jap bikes. It’s a SV650, it goes places, it does things, it has tried to kill me numerous times, I hath tried to keel it a few timez mahself. We just refuse to die! It’s held together with, but not limited to, JB weld, Zipties, Gorrila tape, Solder, lubez, paracord, and the hopes and dreams of all the young’n hillbillies in this fine nation of ‘Murica.



Mistress Cheeseburger:

I am mistress cheeseburger and I like to ride motorcycles. I’ve been at it since December 2010. My riding life has been changed by four big events. I had two bikes before I got my 2005 DL650 and neither of them can hold a candle to the strom. I can flog the everloving shit out of that bike and it just goes… and goes.. and goes. I bought the strom for a song from a good buddy – that’s event one.

Event one led to event two: Once I bought the strom I was taken under a local Buddhist hillbilly’s wing and learnt the ways of the banjoboy – relaxin’, bein’ smooth and finding your zen flow. I’ve been chasing the banjoboy for two years now and he has taught me how to ride and shown me great places off the beaten path.

Event two prepared me for event three – meeting Jeff, an OFG (old fast guy), who invited me on his stellar annual NorCal ride. I was the first woman to ever attend the ride and I remember being nervous about crashing the boy’s ride and keeping up. They welcomed me and invited me on their weekly local ride. It has made me smoother and it plants the seed for longer rides. Sunday is my church of the twisted throttle and they are my fellowship.

Event four was meeting my SisterCousin, appropriately enough, at the ADV WARPED rally. The name fits ’cause neither one of us is right in the head. I didn’t think much at first until we ended up riding home together. He messaged me a few days later saying LET’S RIDE and so we did, and it was magic and now I am a member of ghetto touring, which is the product of SisterCousin’s sick mind. Actually, I’m usually leading the way ‘cause the OFGs have showed me where the good shit is and SisterCousin, while a faster, better rider than me, likes following me. Why, I don’t understand but it is what it is and it’s the best thing ever.


BEST. THING. EVER. I lurvs me some SisterCousin – but he isn’t a kissin’ Cousin so don’t get too excited.

If you want to be a member of ghetto touring, all that’s needed is to be a broke ass motorcycle addict willing to put in the miles on whatever bike you have so you can git the hell out of dodge, do it as cheap and possible and cover ground. If sleeping on rocks under a tarp after hundred of miles of twisties sounds like heaven, welcome to the fellowship.
Mistress Cheeseburger

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